I love babies, I REALLY do.
I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't ever want my own kids. I was the kid at school, when they asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say "A Mommy." For a while, teachers, public, and others started to make this sound like a "bad" thing. Now, don't get me wrong, I am ALL for women working, and having that choice...but their is something beautiful I have about the memories I have with my Mom when she was just always "there." It wasn't until about 3 1/2 years ago, when I moved back to Bend and I made this crazy decision to not go to COCC, like I had planned, but to do CLC at Westside church; that I realized how important my "want" in life was. I was sitting down with the most wonderful Jay Smith and Bo Stern doing my "interview" which I think only lasted all of maybe 7 mins before we all just ended up chatting for the next 20...and they asked, "What are your dreams for the future? What do you wanna be?" Sitting and thinking of the genius answers of "travel the world, feed orphans, preach Jesus to the far and few between" (which yes, are all things, someday, I would love to do.) but my heart knew and settled, and I said "Honestly, a wife and a mommy." I was expecting, the ok, well that good, but REALLY I mean, come on... but no. Their response affirmed all I had within side me. "GOOD! AWESOME! We need more of that. We have lost soo many "Mom's" today. Soo many women think its just a bad thing now, they need to be career women, someday that will come too, but YAY! Awesome. That is it, for YOU!"
WOW, I walked away from that meeting refreshed. This is it. My heart knew from the time I was 2 playing house, till the time I was 12 planning my future house, how many kids, and their names. I LOVE kids.
Those following months, I met my lovely handsome hubby, grew in a beautiful friendship, that turned to love 9 months later, then 8 months after that...marriage. Now, a year and a half after being married we are anxiously awaiting our beautiful baby girl! We couldn't be more elated.
This life has been hard. This year, has been probably, no hands down the HARDEST year of my life. No, it wasn't the "terrible" first year of marriage. I LOVE being married. He is my rock, my BEST friend. Life has just been hard. Circumstances have been HARD, but I have seen through it all, their is JOY and LIFE waiting around the corner! ALWAYS! Sometimes, the yuckiest things, produce so much beauty. I mean we use manure to fertilize, and grow flowers to be so luscious and gorgeous... YUCK. But look at the beauty. Beauty from ashes.
She is my promise, my dream. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. Days will be hard, nights will be long. There is no "parent" I get to send her home with at the end of the night, or after a long day like all my years of babysitting, nannying, and daycare. But I feel privileged.
My dearest little girl, I love you with all my heart!
Mommy :)
I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't ever want my own kids. I was the kid at school, when they asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say "A Mommy." For a while, teachers, public, and others started to make this sound like a "bad" thing. Now, don't get me wrong, I am ALL for women working, and having that choice...but their is something beautiful I have about the memories I have with my Mom when she was just always "there." It wasn't until about 3 1/2 years ago, when I moved back to Bend and I made this crazy decision to not go to COCC, like I had planned, but to do CLC at Westside church; that I realized how important my "want" in life was. I was sitting down with the most wonderful Jay Smith and Bo Stern doing my "interview" which I think only lasted all of maybe 7 mins before we all just ended up chatting for the next 20...and they asked, "What are your dreams for the future? What do you wanna be?" Sitting and thinking of the genius answers of "travel the world, feed orphans, preach Jesus to the far and few between" (which yes, are all things, someday, I would love to do.) but my heart knew and settled, and I said "Honestly, a wife and a mommy." I was expecting, the ok, well that good, but REALLY I mean, come on... but no. Their response affirmed all I had within side me. "GOOD! AWESOME! We need more of that. We have lost soo many "Mom's" today. Soo many women think its just a bad thing now, they need to be career women, someday that will come too, but YAY! Awesome. That is it, for YOU!"
WOW, I walked away from that meeting refreshed. This is it. My heart knew from the time I was 2 playing house, till the time I was 12 planning my future house, how many kids, and their names. I LOVE kids.
Those following months, I met my lovely handsome hubby, grew in a beautiful friendship, that turned to love 9 months later, then 8 months after that...marriage. Now, a year and a half after being married we are anxiously awaiting our beautiful baby girl! We couldn't be more elated.
This life has been hard. This year, has been probably, no hands down the HARDEST year of my life. No, it wasn't the "terrible" first year of marriage. I LOVE being married. He is my rock, my BEST friend. Life has just been hard. Circumstances have been HARD, but I have seen through it all, their is JOY and LIFE waiting around the corner! ALWAYS! Sometimes, the yuckiest things, produce so much beauty. I mean we use manure to fertilize, and grow flowers to be so luscious and gorgeous... YUCK. But look at the beauty. Beauty from ashes.
She is my promise, my dream. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. Days will be hard, nights will be long. There is no "parent" I get to send her home with at the end of the night, or after a long day like all my years of babysitting, nannying, and daycare. But I feel privileged.
My dearest little girl, I love you with all my heart!
Mommy :)
2 comments:
lovely. just lovely.
let's be best friends and have the same dreams and desires. ok?
love you tons!!!
Love this post, Taylor. :)
I, too, always wanted to be a mommy. And, when I was in about 5th grade I decided that I wanted a really BIG family. By the time I got married, we had settled on "6 would be good". Too funny, huh? Who would have guessed that "those 2 crazy kids that got married real young" would end up with a dozen children?
Love ya! Can't wait to see your sweet little girl.
Mama D.
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